Do you suspect your wife of cheating?

First of all, what makes you wonder if your partner is cheating on you? Is she showing you the typical cheating behaviors such as not answering her phone and being gone all day? Do you believe she is being extra sneaky with her phone and is wondering if this is a sign of adultery?

Everyone knows how difficult it is to find a perfect partner to maintain a solid and happy marriage. When your wife cheats on you, it’s a devastating blow to the face and a gut-wrenching pain to the heart.

Divorce is frequently the result of cheating in relationships – it is nothing new. According to American Psychological Association (APA), 40-50 % of married couples will divorce, and infidelity is responsible for 20-40% of divorces.

The idea that your wife is having an affair is traumatic, and many men are surprised to find it out. If you’re wondering how to tell if your wife is cheating on you, continue reading this blog post to find the signs your partner is being unfaithful.

Physical Signs Your Wife Is Cheating

Often, the most obvious signs of infidelity are physical. So, look for these top ten signs to know if your wife is having an affair.

1. Hangs Out With Friends More Often

wife hangs out with friends

Often, your wife's friends will be the first to know if she is cheating on you. She may tell them everything, especially about her new relationship. If you pay attention to your wife’s friends when they’re around you, they will give you signs your partner is cheating.

In another situation, your wife may have found a new crowd to hang out with and spend less time at home with you. Unfortunately, a new group of friends may give her a chance to meet a new man, and she can use them as an excuse to cheat.

As you have a sense of familiarity with your wife's old friends, you can sense the guilt of knowing your wife is cheating on you from them. Your wife's new friends, however, may not care about your marital issues or your feelings. If your wife is hanging out with a new group of people and is not keen on sharing details about time spent with them, this is a guaranteed sign of cheating or other inappropriate behaviors.


2. Always on the Phone but Never Calls You

wife talking on the phone

Your relationship with your wife might have been more open at the beginning when it came to social media and phone use. But, now, she won't leave her phone just anywhere and will burn down the house if you touch it.

For example, let’s say your wife has been running errands for the last six hours, and you’re trying to call her to see when she will return home. Unfortunately, when she answers, she gives you a lousy explanation for why she has been gone so long and quickly hangs up.

When she is in your presence, you always see her on the phone. However, whenever she is away, she never answers your calls or even bothers to call you. Are you wondering why? Your wife isn't cheating: she's been out getting groceries and paying bills for over six hours. Sounds fishy, right?

A partner’s phone activity and absence will provide signs of infidelity in a marriage. If your wife is showing cheating behavior, such as described above, then it’s time to confront her.

3. Lack of Intimacy - Avoids Having Sex

wife avoids having sex

In the beginning, you and your wife were like wild animals when it came to sex. The intimacy is lacking now, and she avoids sex with you at all costs. It could be because of changes in physical appearance, attitude, or lack of emotional intimacy. However, it can also be a sign your wife is having an affair.

You should keep in mind that marriages can vary in terms of sex frequency, especially when young children are present. For example, not many people want sex when caring for a newborn all day and barely have any time to themselves.

If your spouse is displaying cheating behavior, continue to look for these signs of an unfaithful spouse:

  • She never initiates intimacy
  • There are endless reasons why she does not want sex
  • A considerable lack of connection exists between you and your wife
  • You and your wife have a pretty nonexistent sex life
  • Suddenly, your wife is doing new things in the bedroom she never wanted to before
  • You were diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease, and you are not cheating

4. Office Schedule Changes

wife working late in officeIn the past, your wife always had a set schedule of the time work begins and when it's time to leave. However, now, she goes to work early or stays in the office until four hours after closing. Are you wondering why your spouse's work schedule has changed so much?

A change in work schedule is often the first sign of adultery. Coworkers are frequently selected to become romantically involved when a person checks out of a relationship. There’s no secret in this, but you might not want to jump the gun on this since things do happen at work for people’s office schedules to change.

If you’re wondering if her boss enjoys her work ethic or wants her around more for a different reason, look for these signs your wife is cheating at work:

  • Your wife gets dolled up for work every day
  • She lights up when she hears a specific coworker’s name
  • Your wife acts weird when asked about colleagues
  • You notice her texting a coworker way more than usual
  • Your partner starts to care about a coworker a little too much
  • She’s not talkative about work anymore

5. Gets Independent and Demands Privacy

wife demending more privacy

Marriages are often full of teamwork, so it is common for couples to become dependent on one another when making decisions. Whether purchasing large items, working on projects, or even choosing dinner, spouses make these kinds of decisions together.

Now, she doesn't include you in her decisions, doesn't ask your opinions, or even cares what you think. In addition to this, she demands much more privacy from you and no longer discloses her decisions to you. Is this cheating behavior?

There are two ways that your wife could be feeling: she could be thriving and growing into an independent woman, or she is finding validation of her decisions in a new partner. She may require more privacy from you for either of these reasons. In this situation, a warning sign of cheating is if your wife shows aggression and anger when she demands privacy from you.

6. Emotionally Distant and More Secretive

wife gets emotionally distant from husband

If a woman is deeply in love with her husband, she tends to cling to him. Have you noticed that your wife spends less time with you and does not express her emotions anymore? Emotional distance and demanding privacy might signify that your wife is cheating on you, just like becoming more secretive.

A desire to keep certain things to yourself is natural. However, being in a marriage requires a certain level of disclosure. There is such a thing as requesting “too much” privacy, and a clear sign of women cheating is when they prevent you from knowing anything about them. Therefore, if your wife is unusually secretive, it could be that she is ashamed of the things she is doing behind your back.

7. More into Her Looks

wife spending time on her look

Sometimes, people are more concerned with their appearance due to their low self-esteem or experiences during their mid-life crisis. For example, it is common for women to lose some of their identity as individuals when they become mothers. As a result, they may put less emphasis on their appearance and care less about themselves. So, if she is more into her looks now, it may not prove your wife is cheating.

However, if she becomes overly obsessed about it and wears revealing clothes, it can become a warning sign of cheating. Still, despite the similarity, there is a distinct difference between caring about your appearance and dressing to impress. So, pay attention to how much emphasis she puts on her looks and when she does it (prior to meeting someone specific or going to certain places) before you suspect your wife of cheating.

8. Receives More Gifts

wife recieves more gifts

Have you noticed your wife coming home with gifts more often? Once or twice, you might think nothing of it. Friends usually give each other gifts to show appreciation.

But now your wife is coming home with a bouquet of roses every week, next she has diamond earrings, and now someone was kind enough to buy her favorite perfume and put extra money into her pocket.

Honestly, no man will buy expensive gifts for no reason. The gifts and extra money could be red flags that your wife is cheating on you or is about to do it.

9. Picks Up Fights

wife picks up fights

Some people become moody for no apparent reason. Almost everyone has a time when they are in a bad mood for certain periods of time and don't want to be bothered. We all get like this, including kids and toddlers.

However, a cheating wife may be a little too moody and trying to start a screaming match to have a reason to leave the house or give you one. Picking fights, especially for no apparent reason, is the number one cheating behavior that should give you an “aha moment” when looking for signs of adultery. As a way to provoke their partners to get their space, cheaters often act aggressively and create problems out of nowhere.

For example, she asks you to do all of the things she expects you to do as a husband, which includes working hard, watching the kids, and taking care of the house, and now she's picking a fight with you for breathing, too loudly in her space. Finally, she screams and yells at you that she needs more distance from you and storms out of the house.

A silly reason to leave the house in an uproar battle or a perfect plot for a cheating wife to find time to escape to her secret lover? An unfaithful partner will pick fights over minor disagreements to seek justification of finding affection in the arms of someone else.

10. Shady Behavior

wife showing shady behavior

A cheater's shady behavior will often speak for itself. It is usually inconsistent and very different from what you are used to seeing: 

  • Some cheaters might start paying more attention to their spouses or showering them with gifts out of guilt. You might want to look for the pattern where the partner is seemingly checked out of the relationships and then, all of a sudden, very involved for a certain time period.
  • She might be secretive about her outings but curious about yours. This is common when a spouse would prefer to avoid being in the same places as you are or wants to know if you have seen her in a specific location.
  • Money matters can be a sign of infidelity in a marriage, even though all marriages go through times of financial stress. Having more or less money will provide clues that your wife is having an affair, especially if her bank and credit card statements don't make sense or you find out she opened new accounts. 
  • Unfaithful spouses like to accuse their partner of cheating in a relationship. So, if your wife is non-stop accusing you of infidelity, she may be trying to cover up the signs of adultery on her end.

Indirect Signs Your Wife Is Cheating

1. Changes in Communication

changes in communications with wife

Communication is essential to a happy marriage, and its breakdown will never be favorable. You should look for these signs of cheating if it gets harder and harder to communicate with your wife and you feel she is stonewalling you:

  • When you speak, she often ignores you and does not acknowledge you
  • She refuses to respond to you or storms off mid-sentence
  • Sometimes, she comes up with excuses as to why she can't speak to you
  • Whenever the subject of cheating comes up, she shows negative body language, such as having an irritated look or eye-rolling

2. Apparence and Hobbies

wife spend more time on hobbies

Midlife crises often lead people to change their appearance and take up new hobbies. It may not be an obvious sign of cheating if you notice your wife becoming more self-conscious about her appearance and starting something new. She may simply be finding herself. However, if she spends an excessive amount of time on her hobby and does not tell you anything about it, she may be using it to cheat on you.

3. Attitude Changes

why showing changes in her attitude

Again, everyone goes through a period in their lives where they are not happy and may appear moody. You should expect attitude changes, and it may not always be a sign of women cheating. Possibly, your wife is having problems at work or with her family or friends. Be sure to talk to your wife first before you accuse her of infidelity.

Now, if the attitude changes come along with the signs below, you need to be alert:

  • She is very conscious about her appearance and keeps criticizing yourself.
  • Her perception of the relationships may be more negative and she may compare yours to those of others.
  • Your spouse is more critical of your words and actions, no matter how minor or mundane.
  • There's a part of your spouse that wants more excitement or danger in life, and she takes risks without communicating with you.

4. Lying and Avoidance

wife avoiding husband

When it comes to cheating in relationships, lying is one of the biggest red flags. Here is how to tell if your wife is lying about cheating:

  • The questions you ask about her cheating go unanswered.
  • You discover that your spouse has lied to you about where she's going, who she's with, and other things.
  • You notice how secretive your wife is, particularly about what she is doing when she leaves or on her phone.
  • When you bring up the subject of cheating, she often looks away.
  • You are accused of cheating whenever you mention it to her.
  • She gets upset over little things and picks fights with you.
  • When you ask your wife if she is cheating, she gets defensive.
  • In response to your request for assurance about cheating, you are not happy with the answer.

5. Indifference

wife showing indifference towards her husband

What does your wife think about you looking at another girl or that the waitress is flirting with you? People are often territorial when it comes to their partners and children. So, it can be strange if your wife stops caring if other women are attracted to you. Take note if you notice these changes, as indifference can be a warning sign of cheating:

  • In general, it seems like your wife is bored with you, the kids, and your regular habits.
  • When another woman hits on you, your wife doesn't show jealousy.
  • When you're excited about something, your wife doesn’t seem to care, even though she used to get excited about it in the past
  • It appears that she has no interest in family events such as holidays and birthdays.
  • She doesn’t want to make any plans, big or small, and avoids doing that at all costs.

What To Do Next If Wife Is Cheating

Now that you know that your spouse is having an affair, what will you do next? There are two common ways you can go about it: stay and deal with your unfaithful partner or file for a divorce.

Note that the first option will work only if cheating in relationships is something you can forgive and move past. However, would it make sense to try if you know you will resent your wife for life? It is for you to decide.

Suggesting divorce because of cheating, you won’t be the one ruining the marriage – your wife has already done this for both of you. Furthermore, if you have children, they would much rather prefer having happily divorced parents – not those who resent each other and fight but stay together.

Therefore, choose what is best for you and your kids, if any, and do it with your future in mind.